I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
