I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
