I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
