Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
