About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
