I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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