THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize