so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
