Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize