You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
