DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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