Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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