Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
