ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
