In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize