Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
