Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
