ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
