If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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