Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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