I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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