I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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