plz talk dirty to me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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