I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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