If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
