Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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