how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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