Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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