Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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