allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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