the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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