did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
