I have demons in me.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize