my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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