You smell like a Billy Joel song
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm gonna fight the coyote
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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