I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
