Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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