So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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