i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
