i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
