I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
