In the future we'll all be gay
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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