So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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