so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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