I'm gonna have a badass scar
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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