The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
