I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
