I think my fart just growled at me.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
