Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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