hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
