i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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