Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
