Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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