so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
