is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
