So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
