Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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