Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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