Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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