I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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