are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
