I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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